All I Ever Needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten

All I Ever Needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten

“Prejudice cannot see the things that are because it is always looking for things that aren't”[1]

When I was in kindergarten, I did not know there were prejudices. Heck, I didn’t even know what the word meant. I had led an extremely sheltered life, yet had friends from many racial, religious, ethnic and political origins. I really didn’t think of them that way, I just had a lot of friends. I didn’t even know we were all different. One day, a well-meaning teacher, (I am sure as a public service) pointed out the differences of Ray. Now I fancied myself “in love” with Ray, and hadn’t really noticed anything different about him. Another teacher lovingly took Ray out for an “extra” recess and our teacher compassionately explained that Ray had been in a fire, one allegedly set by his father, a Mexican, in a drunken stupor, as Ray slept in the backseat of their car. See Ray was severely burned over the right side of his body. Honestly, until that day I had never noticed his scars. That was the day I learned about differences and how we form prejudices.

Because I grew up in the sixties, in Littleton, Colorado, I really was not exposed to race discrimination. My father worked at Gates Rubber Company and had friends of all colors and creeds. There was one, not sure of the politically correct term, black child in my school. We had a handful of Chicanos, and a few Native American Indians. However, all of them blended rather well with our small culture. A joke in high school was that the Black girl didn’t even know she was Black.

Most of our neighbors were Christian, albeit different faiths, and I remember my third grade teacher was Jewish, and I SO wanted to be a Jew! Our community was close knit and I really did not know anything of racism, prejudice, discrimination or segregation. When I heard the word Nigger, it meant black person, not a racial epithet, but as an identifier of what a Black person was called. My father grew up along the Missouri River, and that’s what Black people were called. On his death bed, he no longer called Black men Niggers, but they had graduated to Colored Folk, it was a generational thing. Still my father’s ignorance bred no racism, or prejudice into us children.

“No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life”
― Simple Plan [2]

My first experience with segregation was in 1973 when the State of Colorado began bussing children form the downtown schools, whose students were predominantly Black and Chicano, to our sleepy suburb. I attended a middle school that served grades five through nine. Because I was in some advanced courses, my gym class was with the much older eighth grade girls many who had been bussed in from Five Points. Not only were these girls more coordinated, and bigger in stature than I, they did not like the little white girl who “held them back”. For three days in a row I was physically beaten by these girls, called names and could have lost my life except a gym teach happened to walk into the shower room as one of these “learning experiences” was taking place. After a week in the hospital, I still had no idea that color was such a barrier! I learned quickly how to stay out of their way!

Never try and reason the prejudice out of a man. It was not reasoned into him, and cannot be reasoned out.
Sydney Smith [3]

For me prejudice begins as bullying. It’s about power. We tend to find differences in people, and attack them as weaknesses, so that we can be more powerful. Sadly, for the bully he only diminishes himself. It’s not about race, it can be political leanings, socioeconomic standing, maybe even something as inconsequential as wearing the “right” clothing. Americans from the United States, tend to hold themselves higher than their neighbors and at times even their friends. You don’t hear about “keeping up with the Joneses” in Europe, or Asia. The United States is a very competitive society.  At times it seems as if it’s just about stuff, status and puffery!

My experience in the Colorado Criminal Justice System taught me more about prejudice than I ever care to learn. For many who have served a majority of their lives in “the system” it is about skin color, religion, or the amount of stuff one possesses. I witnessed severe class warfare during my stay in prison. My experience was that the women, who were Black, were big on “respect”. If you did something that they did not care for you were disrespecting them, and then the bullying began. The Chicanas were big on who could be “more Christian” and while they weren’t the only ones spouting Bible verses, and preaching “Christ Like behavior” they held themselves as Christian, all the while repeating criminal behavior. The lesbian women were split into three categories: the true homosexual, the gay for the stay women, and those who had serious gender identification issues. One boy/girl that I served time with, as it turns out, is a beautiful woman, who had borne two children, and although in a lesbian relationship, she no longer portrays herself to be “manly” as she did while in prison. I believe that prejudice forces us to find a slot and melt ourselves into it; if not for our own sanity, surely for our own safety.

“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.”  ― Chris Colfer[4]

I also learned in prison, that the bully may never actually physically harm you; especially those that threaten. Surely they are not going to warn you if they intend harm. I was physically assaulted in prison, yet not because of racism, merely because I refused to provide material things for another inmate who felt she deserved largess from me. Many believed it was because she was Black and I was White. It was because I was ignorant and she was cunning.

I've been actually really very pleased to see how much awareness was raised around bullying, and how deeply it affects everyone. You know, you don't have to be the loser kid in high school to be bullied. Bullying and being picked on comes in so many different forms.
Lady Gaga [5]

In our lifetime we may never end prejudice, however I believe our reaction to prejudice and our diligent guidance to our children may serve to educate and ease the pain of prejudice. A great man, teacher and prophet, Jesus Christ once said, “Love on another”. After all isn’t that what it’s all about?

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[1] http://thinkexist.com/quotation/prejudice_cannot_see_the_things_that_are_because/189246.html

[2] http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show_tag?id=bullying

[3] http://www.planetpals.com/IKC/IKC_quotedictionary.html

[4] http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show_tag?id=bullying

[5] http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/bullying.html?gclid=CN-j8_7W3a8CFUHatgod_QxeJw