All I Ever Needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten
“Prejudice cannot
see the things that are because it is always looking for things that aren't”[1]
When I was in kindergarten, I did not know there were prejudices. Heck, I
didn’t even know what the word meant. I had led an extremely sheltered life,
yet had friends from many racial, religious, ethnic and political origins. I
really didn’t think of them that way, I just had a lot of friends. I didn’t
even know we were all different. One day, a well-meaning teacher, (I am sure as
a public service) pointed out the differences of Ray. Now I fancied myself “in
love” with Ray, and hadn’t really noticed anything different about him. Another
teacher lovingly took Ray out for an “extra” recess and our teacher compassionately
explained that Ray had been in a fire, one allegedly set by his father, a
Mexican, in a drunken stupor, as Ray slept in the backseat of their car. See
Ray was severely burned over the right side of his body. Honestly, until that
day I had never noticed his scars. That was the day I learned about differences
and how we form prejudices.
Because I grew up in the sixties, in Littleton, Colorado, I really was
not exposed to race discrimination. My father worked at Gates Rubber Company
and had friends of all colors and creeds. There was one, not sure of the
politically correct term, black child in my school. We had a handful of
Chicanos, and a few Native American Indians. However, all of them blended rather
well with our small culture. A joke in high school was that the Black girl didn’t
even know she was Black.
Most of our neighbors were Christian, albeit different faiths, and I
remember my third grade teacher was Jewish, and I SO wanted to be a Jew! Our
community was close knit and I really did not know anything of racism,
prejudice, discrimination or segregation. When I heard the word Nigger, it
meant black person, not a racial epithet, but as an identifier of what a Black
person was called. My father grew up along the Missouri River, and that’s what
Black people were called. On his death bed, he no longer called Black men
Niggers, but they had graduated to Colored Folk, it was a generational thing. Still
my father’s ignorance bred no racism, or prejudice into us children.
“No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life”
― Simple Plan [2]
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life”
― Simple Plan [2]
My first experience with segregation was in 1973 when the State of
Colorado began bussing children form the downtown schools, whose students were predominantly
Black and Chicano, to our sleepy suburb. I attended a middle school that served
grades five through nine. Because I was in some advanced courses, my gym class
was with the much older eighth grade girls many who had been bussed in from Five
Points. Not only were these girls more coordinated, and bigger in stature than
I, they did not like the little white girl who “held them back”. For three days
in a row I was physically beaten by these girls, called names and could have lost
my life except a gym teach happened to walk into the shower room as one of
these “learning experiences” was taking place. After a week in the hospital, I
still had no idea that color was such a barrier! I learned quickly how to stay
out of their way!
Never try
and reason the prejudice out of a man. It was not reasoned into him, and cannot
be reasoned out.
Sydney Smith [3]
Sydney Smith [3]
For me prejudice begins as bullying. It’s about power. We tend to find
differences in people, and attack them as weaknesses, so that we can be more
powerful. Sadly, for the bully he only diminishes himself. It’s not about race,
it can be political leanings, socioeconomic standing, maybe even something as
inconsequential as wearing the “right” clothing. Americans from the United
States, tend to hold themselves higher than their neighbors and at times even
their friends. You don’t hear about “keeping up with the Joneses” in Europe, or
Asia. The United States is a very competitive society. At times it seems as if it’s just about stuff,
status and puffery!
My experience in the Colorado Criminal Justice System taught me more
about prejudice than I ever care to learn. For many who have served a majority
of their lives in “the system” it is
about skin color, religion, or the amount of stuff one possesses. I witnessed
severe class warfare during my stay in prison. My experience was that the women,
who were Black, were big on “respect”. If you did something that they did not
care for you were disrespecting them, and then the bullying began. The Chicanas
were big on who could be “more Christian” and while they weren’t the only ones
spouting Bible verses, and preaching “Christ Like behavior” they held
themselves as Christian, all the while repeating criminal behavior. The lesbian
women were split into three categories: the true homosexual, the gay for the
stay women, and those who had serious gender identification issues. One
boy/girl that I served time with, as it turns out, is a beautiful woman, who
had borne two children, and although in a lesbian relationship, she no longer portrays
herself to be “manly” as she did while in prison. I believe that prejudice
forces us to find a slot and melt ourselves into it; if not for our own sanity,
surely for our own safety.
“When people hurt you over and over, think of them like
sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up
polished and they end up useless.” ― Chris Colfer[4]
I also learned in prison, that the bully may never actually physically
harm you; especially those that threaten. Surely they are not going to warn you if they intend harm. I was
physically assaulted in prison, yet not because of racism, merely because I
refused to provide material things for another inmate who felt she deserved
largess from me. Many believed it was because she was Black and I was White. It
was because I was ignorant and she was cunning.
I've been actually really very pleased to see how much
awareness was raised around bullying, and how deeply it affects everyone. You
know, you don't have to be the loser kid in high school to be bullied. Bullying
and being picked on comes in so many different forms.
Lady Gaga [5]
Lady Gaga [5]
In our lifetime we may never
end prejudice, however I believe our reaction to prejudice and our diligent guidance
to our children may serve to educate and ease the pain of prejudice. A great
man, teacher and prophet, Jesus Christ once said, “Love on another”. After all isn’t
that what it’s all about?
[1] http://thinkexist.com/quotation/prejudice_cannot_see_the_things_that_are_because/189246.html
[2] http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show_tag?id=bullying
[3] http://www.planetpals.com/IKC/IKC_quotedictionary.html
[4] http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show_tag?id=bullying
[5] http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/bullying.html?gclid=CN-j8_7W3a8CFUHatgod_QxeJw
