Time Passages

Wow January has zoomed by and I have only posted a couple of times! Actually I am not sure anyone even reads this, and that's perfectly OK, I pray that my insights may have some value to anyone who may stop by.
I have been struggling a lot lately with my situation with the injustice system. I have been waiting quite anxiously for word of when I can become an ISP inmate. What that entails, is a lower classification of supervision, and possibly a stylish new ankle bracelet. I have been out of prison for 8 months now, and have (imnsho) earned the right to leave the halfway house and live in peace with my husband. I am doing well at my job, I am working the program that has been set out for me, and I only spend 8 hours daily at that dreaded place. Don't get me wrong, I am pleased to be away from the barbed wire, razor wire and clanging doors, I am ready to move on.
I call it the injustice system for two reasons; it's all about the money, and it is in no way fair. I believe, that like the Mob, if you are a good "earner" you have very little chance of moving on and out of the "family". I have complied with all the program rules, I stay off the radar, I have worked to improve myself, I pay my bills, and essentially I am just paying the halfway house the price of an apartment to sleep on a cast iron bed with a  plastic mattress that offers no cushion for my body. I eat at home or work, I shower at home. They must count me hourly for the eight hours I am there, and once a month I must give a urine sample.
My case manager, said, oh it's not that bad, and really it's not, however, I am mentally checked out of that place. It is very hard to return each evening.
I am so very blessed to have my husband in my corner. He is so patient with me. He is more optimistic than I and tries to keep me on the level emotionally. He has stood behind me 100% and deserves some sort of award for what he has been through for the past 5 years!
I learned about two weeks ago that our daughter Rachel is getting married in June. I am disappointed that we are not to be included in this joyous time for her. I am frustrated that I have not been able to communicate with her. I would really like to have the opportunity to spend some time with her and hammer out our differences. I am sad that she has shunned her father because he chooses to support me.
My little brother recently moved in with us. He has been struggling financially, and it seemed like the right thing to do. He has been very helpful around the house, and helping with my transportation. I am so grateful that we have reconciled, it is a great blessing to me.
My older brother hasn't been well.  He lives in another state, and is so far out of my reach now. His partner feels as if I and my younger brother should drop everything and take up his aid. I wish that I could, however, really no one has ever been there for me financially, emotionally or physically when I have gone through the darkest periods of my life.  I am not keeping score, I just think that  if we are bailed out every time a problem arises, we have no motivation and no chance to grow and test our own limits.
I begin school on Monday. I am reading one of the books we were assigned, Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankel. It's an amazing study of the human psyche and what we as humans are able to endure! I am fascinated by my own endurance levels over the past 11 years, and realize by reading this book that I have much to be grateful for and much to give back. All in all I am grateful for my own set of problems. I would never ask to take over someone else's. Count your blessings, names them one by one, count your many blessings see what God has done!